What Instead?

Processing disappointment is not my favorite thing to do, but I’ll tell you what, I am a fan of what it has to teach you.

I was disappointed today.  There are degrees of disappointment and this was not a small one.  My first instinct was to cry.  To get angry.  To fight it and to deny it.  To try to talk the universe into making it different.

That lasted for about five minutes and then I was bushed.  So, I stopped.

And the weight lifted instantly.

It occurred to me that I’d had all the right responses and reactions.  It was not ideal, but this was how it was going to be.  It didn’t make it right.  It didn’t make it ok.  It didn’t make it less scary, even.  But I couldn’t change it…it was out of my control.  And guys, for a “Type A control-freak,” that is a tough pill to swallow.

The thing that happened next was really cool.  I saw possibility and new opportunity where five minutes before had been frustration.  I realized that this particular plan wasn’t going to play out the way I’d hoped, but that maybe something better – or at least equally ok – would take its place.  And, I wonder what it could be?!

What choice do we have, really?  I’m a proponent of fighting for what you want, definitely.  However, there is a lot to be said for surrender and faith in moments when your supply of control runs out and opening yourself instead to the possibilities of “what instead?”

I don’t know how this one will play out, but I’m open to the possibilities…

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